A few years ago on a Saturday, I was riding my motorcycle in the high desert of Southern California with my cousin. The day was cloudy and with high percentage of rain, the dirt was packed and moist, great for ridding. We wandered through many trails, some seemed familiar while others were very much new. Up the hills and down the trails we went, with every mile leaving behind traces of civilization, and modern highways. Soon, I began to get overheated and to sweat. We stopped at a 4 way stop and took our jackets off.
We crossed the street at an angle and continued off road following the same direction of the highway, soon we came to a trail heading towards the hills, we followed this till we came to a Y on the road, my cousin asked… Left or Right, I said right and down we went. After going through what I rank to be a semi-difficult trail, we stopped, let our bikes cool down and breathed in the coolness and silence of the land.
As we made small talk my cousin said something that stuck to me. “It’s interesting that after going through a trail like the one we just went through, it seems that the bike is like an extension of your body, we know where the tires are going to be and move with the bike as if it was second nature”. This statement hit me right in the heart, I knew that he was talking about the bike, and I was experiencing the same feeling. But, after we started going on the road again, I continued to chew on this statement, and realize the depth of it.
How is what we do or think an extension of ourselves? Is what I’m doing serving as an example of who I truly am? Are my relationships flowing as a natural out flow or extension of who I am? Am, I relating to others around me with a natural flow from within or do I measure my words, and actions in order to give the appearance of something that is really not who I am inside? Am, I afraid of allowing others to know who I really am?
We continued… following some trails and headed up a rocky trail, when we reached the top we encountered an abandon mine, and lots of trash and debris everywhere. We stood in silence and explore wandering around and getting lost in our own personal thoughts. Soon we found the opening of the mine and with caution we started to explore around the mine, but not inside of it. We made comments like… “I wonder what was mined here?”
After being here for over 30 minutes we decided to continue on our way, and when we had our helmets on we felt some drops of rain and noticed how the rain that seem so far was now coming our way. We had to take off our helmets and get our rain gear on. We headed back on the trail and decided to follow this trail that went up the side of a hill. Going through some rocky areas and managing the motorcycle as it carried me up the trail, we came to a small Mesa that overlooked the whole area. The view was breath taking as it is often the case, very difficult to put into words. A sense of awe and wonder, surrounded by deep feelings of thankfulness, and peace.
Having to turn back because there was no way down, I realized that so many times in life we start taking trails that seem interesting only to find that they lead no where, and yet we can choose to be thankful for these roads and can accept them as they are, because they bring us to places where we can see the landscape of our psyche. If we but stop to contemplate, we can see many things that from a lower altitude or vantage point can not be seen.
Winding through sides of hills and at times over them we begin to be purposeful about our direction “Slash X” (a bar restaurant right on the side of hwy 247). A few miles before reaching Slash X, we were pleasantly surprised by a blanket of snow on the ground. Though it was raining we stopped and contemplated the natural beauty around us. The ice on the dirt made the road slushy and muddy. Great riding!! Especially, if you’re prepared for weather like this one, which we were.
We arrive at Slash X, take off our gear and go inside the restaurant and find a table. The beer’s cold, the food warm, and the atmosphere pleasant with riders all around us talking about the weather and experiences, is something worth treasuring. As I get up to go to the bathroom I came across a neighbor that used to live in front of my house. It’s funny because, the last time I saw him was in the middle of nowhere… We were stopped taking a break and he and his friend stopped to see if we were ok or if we needed help. And, when we all took off our helmets we realized who we were. A pleasant surprise then and a pleasant surprise now! After talking for a while and sharing some experiences we decided to head back home.
The rain seized but only for a few moments and soon started up again. On the way back we were on the main road, and it was muddy, compact, and at time very slushy. We were traveling around 60+ mph and at times pushing 70 mph. It was wonderful, the coldness of the air, the drops of rain stinging the face as if it were needles, and no desire to slow down. A sense of freedom that felt just right!
As, I’m crossing certain parts of this trail I come across my first ridding area. And, a flash back of trying out my new bike, well at least for me (KTM 400 SXC) a European model. Memories of been bucked down to the ground and hurting my pride and myself, and realizing that I have come full circle.
Let me explain, when I got my first bike, the bike felt bigger then I, in a way very intimidating, due to its raw power. This is when I came to appreciate KTM motorcycles, they’re made well and built to take a beating. But, what started that first day 3 years ago, was a series of events that lead to some physical injuries, and fear of falling. And, this is just not a good combination when riding. You can’t go down a trail thinking you’re going to fall. I still remember the day this feeling broke… we were on our way to Vegas from Victorville and we were only 40 miles away from Vegas, when we came across a rocky and very difficult terrain, I remember falling and the bike landing on me, with my leg stuck and a feeling of just wanting to give up came over me for a few moments, and right when I was ready to call it quits and give up, I heard a voice inside my head “we’re NOT doing this”, and out of no where, strength came to my body, and I lifted the bike off of me, and stood it up and shut the gas that was leaking. A fearlessness and boldness, that I had forgotten about, but now had returned to me. I remember feeling this way in my teenage years. And ever since, the bikes feel like they’re smaller than me.
Though, when I get on my current bike, I’m on my tip-toes. I’m only 5’-4” tall and this is some times a disadvantage. But, as I tell my friends I only have difficulty on 5% of the trails and this is now dropping to 2% of the trails we encounter. At times I’m not able to reach the ground, I rely on having a good balance, and my goal is not to stop and just keep on moving.
Since then, I’ve sold this bike to my nephew, and purchased last year a new KTM, 530 EXC-R. I had to go through a similar initiation with this bike, but it was only a few months. And though I’ve encounter some problems that I’ve consider poor design, and flaws, I really like this bike, the raw power and the light-weight make it a fun bike to ride.
Well, going back to what started this whole story… How is what I do, an extension of who I am.
For me, I’ve come to realize that I’m made up of many parts, physically, psychologically, and Spiritually. My body needs to be in harmony, and focused on the task at hand. I need to be aware and not neglect it. My psyche is more complex then my body, I see it with many parts too. Some parts are afraid, while others are bold and strong, and yet others are different than these two. In psychology we call these parts, selves or sub-personalities. And, the last but certainly not least my Spirit, this is what connects me with the Divine, and my experience has showed me that I can experience the divine in nature, contemplating a view like the Grand Canyon, or in people, as I look into the eyes of my granddaughter, or in other ways such as a hug from a homeless person, or a smile of a child and even the love and acceptance of my parents and family.
In short, let me encourage you to be true to yourself, to be the same outside and inside. To love yourself and accept yourself as you are, and once you do this, your outer world will manifest your inner reality. Please, don’t seek what the world tells you, but seek first to find the inner kingdom. Or as the bible tells us… Seek first the kingdom of God. This kingdom is in your heart and God is in your heart, and nowhere else.
For me, the voice that I heard when I was ready to give up riding, came from within and I believe it to be my Spirit pushing me and helping me to be free and to be the man that I now am. Am, I perfect? NO! But, I’m doing my best to have perfect intentions, and this has brought peace, joy, and acceptance from within and from those that are around me.